eat your parents

and so i suggest you do the same thing with your parents. eat them. accept them as a part of getting you here, and get on with life. write them off as a business expense. at least your parents talk about the Big Things. i try to talk about things that matter to me with my parents and it's like i'm speaking Bratislavan. they listen indulgently to me for an appropriate length of time, and then after i'm out of wind, they ask me why the hell am i so negative all the time, why do i have to see something depressing in everything. tick tack. give parents the tiniest of confidences and they'll use them as crowbars to jimmy you open and rearrange your life with no perspective. sometimes i just like to mace them. i want to tell them that i envy their upbringings that were so clean, so free of futurelessness. and i want to throttle them for blithely handing over the world to us like so much skid-marked underwear.