until

until last night
i was missing
the key
to the places
i forgot existed.

until last night
i was afraid to
express myself for
fear of rejection,
retribution.

not until last night,
when i raised my hands
and reached through the
looking glass
to touch the
reflection
of she who was
a naked girl
running free

believed all women
would stand and walk tall
until i saw my mother
crouched in fear against the wall
searching for protection against
an uncontrollable hurricane
of misunderstood emotions.

sliding-glass doors
shattered by rage
set the stage
as i moved forward
never looking back
creating an armor of flesh
buried memories
and a silent tongue.

years disappeared
taking with them
denied emotions,
until i could
no longer
remember,
where this seed
of rage and fear
first appeared.

until i started
on the path away from
self-destruction
and caught glimpses
of the flame inside,
uncovered where the
masks came off
in games of peekaboo
i see you.